5 Ways to Know If You Are Really Ready for Love
It’s amazing watching so many young people get married. Young “twenty-somethings” are stepping into a life-long commitment at a time when they barely know who they are in the world. Our culture offers some crazy mixed messages about the “shoulds” of love, relationships and commitment.
Barely into our 20s, the “game” is on. Find a good job, get a house, become financially wealthy… oh yeah, and find a spouse. For men, our culture gives a longer time frame, for women, that biological clock gets moving like some kitchen timer and ladies, you fear that the bell will sound and it will be too late to find that great love, get married and have kids.
If you are female and aren’t married by the age of 30, our culture asks, “What’s wrong with you?” and much panic begins to set in for many. For men it’s “Hey, you still have time, go make some money so you have something to offer and then come back for your soulmate.” Our culture will make you wrong regardless of your gender.
If you are dating, not dating, young, old, wealthy or not so wealthy, there will always be some kind of “pressure” that our culture has for you.
So we all want to love and be loved, but are we really prepared for a soulmate, a life-long partner, deep and meaningful love? How do we know at any age or any stage in our life if we are really ready for love?
Here are some ways to know:
1) Are you motivated by pressure?
Do you feel the clock is ticking? Can you sense the pressure of being a “certain age”? Is your mother driving you crazy and hinting for grandchildren? Have you been divorced for “quite a while” with people trying to set you up? Are you judging your own current relationship status?
These are some the pressure traps many people face. You, however, are the authority of you and no matter what your age or past relationship status, being ready to find a soulmate isn’t all about external circumstances or a way to prevent your mother from badgering you.
Being “ready” is about creating wholeness in your life. It is about truly wanting that love and companionship, feeling whole and complete about yourself and your life and wanting to share your life with someone. It is not about having the wedding (Ladies!) or being able to tell people that you have your beloved so they will think you are loveable and acceptable. It’s not even all about having a house, a great income, and a luxury car.
Being ready is a more complex process and if you succumb to external pressure you are liable to end up in relationship that isn’t a good fit for you and wind up in divorce court! So, let go of the pressure you feel and tune into your own intuitive inner guidance that really knows best. Being ready is an internal process as well as an external one.
2) Have you worked on your Emotional Baggage?
We all come into relationships with emotional baggage. Have you identified yours? Have you worked through your past relationship issues? Have you healed some of the old wounds, false beliefs and have you understood your own part in why things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to in the past?
It is essential to do all of the above. Part of being ready for a long-term love is to know this information and work to heal your issues and patterns and know that they are your responsibility rather than someone else’s. If you don’t, you will continue to attract people who mirror those issues and trigger them inside of you, so you can see what needs to be healed. You’ll continue to think that the issues coming up are due to the “other” person and miss the common denominator. Relationships aren’t just about romantic love; they are also about learning, growing, and evolving on all levels.
Identify your patterns, understand your issues, and explore what your sadness and anger has been about. Know what issues you have to work on and work through them. You will then have an easier time finding a soulmate and having a relationship that really works for you because you will be truly ready.
3) Are you satisfied with other areas of your life?
Are you looking for someone to fill a void in your life? Ladies, are you looking for a man to take care of you financially? Guys, are you looking for someone to clean the house and cook your dinner? What does the rest of your life look like and why is that so important?
Being in a relationship still means you need to work on the rest of your life. So many people feel that finding that great love will make the status of everything else feel ok. It may “help” you feel better about other things, but would only be a temporary fix. Your issues, patterns, and learning items are going on in all areas of your life and being in love won’t fix it, only you can.
It is best to seek partnership when you are content with how other areas of your life are going. If not, you may be looking for someone to “complete you” and make everything else feel better. It doesn’t mean that everything has to be “perfect”. It means that you need to be working on your life consciously and not look for someone else to make it hurt less, feel better, or fix it so you don’t have to.
Work on thriving in all areas of your life and know that you will be ready when you are feeling more balanced.
4) Are you comfortable opening up and being vulnerable?
We have all heard the term “emotionally unavailable”. If you are emotionally unavailable then you may not be quite ready to find a soulmate. Being able to open your heart, let someone in and be intimate is essential to being in a relationship. Sharing who you are on a deep level, letting someone into your world to know your issues, your imperfections, your worries, your goals, dreams, and visions is part of what being in a heart-centered relationship with a soulmate is all about. It is part of the beauty, joy, grace, and magnificence of sharing your life with someone.
So many people are afraid of getting hurt, of risking and allowing someone else to know some of the most intimate and personal aspects of themselves. Bonding and connecting happens when people not only share their physical selves, but their emotional, mental, and spiritual selves as well. Learning to open your heart and be vulnerable is part of the process. When you are able to do that, you will have an easier time finding your great love and experiencing all that soulmate relationships have to offer.
5) Do you have healthy boundaries?
Do you know how to speak and share your truth or stand up for what you believe or express when something doesn’t work for you? Are you comfortable bringing up issues to talk about, asking for what you want and need, and letting people know your bottom line? Have you allowed too many people to take advantage of you, your space, your kindness and compassion? If so, perhaps you have more work to do here before you are really ready for life long love.
Knowing what your “bottom line” is and where your boundaries are is an important step. What is your bottom line with people? You know how it feels to have someone cross the line with you. It often brings up anger, resentment, an internal sense of “creepiness” or that weird feeling that someone just ran over you with a truck and left you for dead.
You are VALUABLE and deserve respect and deserve a partner who honors you. Knowing where your bottom line is and being your word to yourself will help you be ready for your life partner.
Being in love is a beautiful thing and being ready for that relationship is essential. Being ready also helps you attract the right partner and have a successful relationship. Many people are feeling the outside pressure and in such a hurry for love that they miss the fact that they aren’t quite ready. Spending the time preparing yourself will not only improve the quality of who you attract and the type of relationship you have, but will also improve the quality of all areas of your life. Take some time to prepare yourself and value the journey. Hiring me as your Relationship Coach will help you move that process along more swiftly!